SHE SAID DOPING?

THE QUICK RUN DOWN ON JAMAICA'S TRACK & FIELD BAD TESTING FIASCO

Anne Shirley started it all in the August edition of Sports Illustrated by stating:

"Jamaica's current (drug testing) program, while improved makes a mockery of Jamaica's posturing & flames suspicion more than it douses..."

Of course this caused ripples through out the worldwide track community, here are a few responses and what I think they should have said.

USAIN BOLT

What he said: "I'M CLEAN"

What he should have said: "B**CH GTFOH"

DAVID HOWMAN

(World Anti Doping Agency)

What he said: "JAMAICA, SHAPE UP OR I'LL BAN YOU NEXT OLYMPICS"

What he should have said: "WE JUST NEED USAIN & SHELLY"

ASAFA POWELL

What he said: "I JUST TOOK SOME SUPPLEMENTS YALL"

What he should have said: "TRICK DEM TRICK ME"

DOMINIQUE BLAKE

What she said: "To a certain some1 when u dig a hole 4 another, u should always remember to dig another for urself buddy"

What she should have said: "Welcome To The Club Mi Fren Dem"

SHELLY-ANN FRASER PRYCE

What she said: "HOPE IT WILL GET CLEARED UP"

What she should have said:  "AINT WORRIED BOUT NUTN"

SPACE JAM 2013 ???

Space Jam was not the best movie of all time, it wasn't even great but we loved it regardless, a classic but what if there was a 2013 version of Space Jam... WHAT IF ???

 LeBron James would be the new Michael Jordan

AND NOW FOR OUR VILLAINS !!! (insert evil laugh)

1. Shawn Bradley will be played by the athletically gifted and lanky but intellectually challenged JaVale McGee

2. Zach Randolph will be the new Patrick Ewing, the brolic power forward is a perfect villain on the court.

3. In a somewhat controversial pick, Carmelo Anthony will be the new Larry Johnson. Their game is pretty different but in the NBA of today there is no way the Monstars don't get one of the best pure scorers in the league.

4. In a move that may cause World War 3... Russell Westbrook will be the new Charles Barkley (insert explosion sound fx)

Every sports movie needs a light skin dude doing the most.

5. Last but not least the moment we have all been waiting for, who will the point guard of the team. It could have been Chris Paul, it could have been Tony Parker but Nate Robinson would be the new Muggsy Bogues.

The miniature sporadic burst of energy is a perfect fit to complete the Monstar 2013 team.

***************************BONUS***************************

For comic relief, the role of Wayne Knight will be portrayed by funny man of the moment, Kevin Hart.

Last but certainly not least, the new Bill Murray will have to be Seth Rogen

Will Space Jam 2013... HELL NO, but we all can dream can't we?

USAIN SHOULDA BOLTED LIKE VINCE

Shoe Wars... A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... woops, wrong story.

In 1998 the Golden State Warriors drafted Vince Carter, a shooting guard/power forward from the University of North Carolina. He was then traded to the Toronto Raptors (big up all my Canada peeps). He was a star, winning the 1999 NBA Rookie of the Year award, VINSANITY had begun.

Now in 1998, Puma signed the then unknown Vince to an endorsement deal and everything was great until success came. Success came in the form of Nike, "The Swoosh Strikes Back".

Vince was offered a $30Mil contract by Nike during his 3 year Puma deal; slap in the face or just business, but all is fair in love and sports. Vince broke his Puma endorsement deal and was judicially forced to pay $13,547,011 in damages + $1,000,000 in Puma lawyer fees + $3,000,000 to waive his 3 year wait period.


The Vince Carter Nike Shox were born.

The story however continues and takes another turn but like in every good movie we shall continue in the sequel.

TO BE CONTINUED....

WHEN THE NFL REALITY HITS YOU!

Ladies & Gentlemen the NFL season will soon be upon us and for many of us fans, reality has hit. Our team who failed to make it to the Superbowl (or even the playoffs) have not magically gotten better. No superstar stud with the speed of Usain Bolt; the agility of a chinese gymnast; the power of Goku or girth of Roger Clarke was drafted. 

My friends we will have to depend on luck and the weekly prayer vigil in order to carry us to the promised land, on that cold & windy February 2nd evening. The ride of the upcoming NFL season will be an expected roller coaster but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks to @cjzero for the gif, hush Pam Oliver

2013 NBA ROSTERS ATARI STYLE

ALL 15 TEAMS OF THE EASTERN CONFERENCE IN 8bit PRIDE & GLORY.

IN THE MANLIEST PINK EVER... ITS THE WESTERN CONFERENCE RIVALS.

LETS GO!